Students will compose one paragraph with a topic sentence, several evidence and analysis sentences, and a concluding sentence about their favorite sport or activity.
Students will compose one paragraph with a topic sentence, several evidence and analysis sentences, and a concluding sentence about their favorite sport or activity.
I love basketball because the exercis incomplete
I really enjoy dancing because i spend time with my family and friends.When we dance we exercise.We stay healthy by moving and get stronger.If we dance i have a song.My favorite song is slide to the left.When we dance we hang out with our family,and friends.We get closer to each other by dancing and having fun with each other.Moving is my favorite thing to do with all my loved ones.
Graciela, nice start. Make sure to mention briefly the THREE reasons (evidence) in your topic sentence. You only talk about family and friends. Also, make sure to leave a space between sentences. – Mr. A
I like baseball because you can hit the ball and run the bases. first you have fun you can slide, throw,catch, you can also make a homerun.next make a home run you get to run the bases without getting out and the people on the bases make it home so do you.finally hit the ball you can get the other players to score.you can try to be safe by slidding and touching the base.this is why i like baseball and why it is fun to play.
Jeremy, good start. There are quite a few corrections you have to make. First, your topic sentence talks about hitting the ball and running bases BUT in your first evidence sentence, you write about sliding, throwing, catching and making home-runs. What you write about in your topic sentence has to appear in the yellow EVIDENCE sentences.
You have to make a choice and change your TS or change your EVIDENCE sentences.
I really enjoy playing soccer because its fun,and challenging.I like the professional soccer players celebrations.The celebrations you can a can do a dance, jump in the air and punch it,or what ever you like.The goals are cool because how you make them.The feeling you get when you make a goal is happy or proud of yourself or them.Most importantly is the kicks.You have to kick it perfectly not too much up,not too weak just right a curve or a straight kick.I like soccer because you can win trophies and play with other people you can win ,tie or lose any one is cool with me.
Brian, I really enjoyed your paragraph. Good topic sentence that includes 1) fun 2) challenging but where is 3) ? What’s interesting is that you mention fun an challenging but your yellow and red sentences talk about 1) celebrations 2) making goals 3) kicking the ball. Maybe you need to change your topic sentence? Let’s start there. Mr. A
I really enjoy playing soccer because it’s fun, sometimes challenging.First the real soccer players celebration are like.You can do a kind of dance,run on the field do a back flip or just do what you want with your friends.Next is the passing and the dribbling.You have to pass it soft or you will bounce the ball off you partner and when the ball is the air don’t just kick it dribble the ball first so it will not go out.Finally is your kicks.You can not hit the goal keeper in the face you just kick it right don’t get confused by your team and make a goal on your team.When the game is over don’t be like:we won!yeah!!!!! be like good game don’t blame it on your partners because that’s just rude.
My favorite sport is tether ball. Tetherball is fun because you get to hit the ball.In order to win you need the rope to go around the pole.I like playing Tetherball it’s good exercise .tetherball is good exercise because it keeps you active.My favorite sport is fun because I get to play with my friends .somtimes we all play and that is how we get closer and bound.these are all the reasons why I like playing Tetherball .
Metztli, so far so good. There are some spaces you need to insert between sentences to make sense. What does it mean to “bound”? Make those changes and it’ll be an even better paragraph! Mr. A
My favrite sport is tetherball. Tetherball is fun becuase you get to hit the ball . In order to win you need to get the rope so the rope needs to go around the pole.I like playing tetherball becuase it is good exersise and it keeps you active. My favriote sport is fun becuase you get to play with your freinds . Somtimes me and my freinds get to play together and we become closer and bond . These are all the resonse why i like playing tetherball.
I really like singing because it’s relaxing,emotional,and fun!When I sing, I feel relaxed.Sometimes,when there’s my favorite songs,I sing along and i feel relaxed when i’m stressed out. I sing songs with emotion so my songs can sound better.When I sing with emotion,my voice sounds good and the song will sound better.I’m singing just for fun.I sing for fun because I love singing funny or real songs with my friends,relatives,and my little sister.Singing is my favorite activity to do because its relaxing,emotional,and fun!
Julia, I really like your paragraph so far. Please make sure to indent and leave a space in between your sentences. Can’t wait to see the final product! Mr. A
I love skating at the rink because i fool around,win for the team and have fun.First,I fool around when I skate.When I do this I learn some new moves.On Saturday I win for my team sometimes.I win when we go against other teams.We also win a trophy because of me.Beside fooling around and winning for the team,I just like having fun.It’s fun because I like skating with my team.Skating is my favorite activity because I mess around a lot,play for the group and enjoy doing it.
I really like singing because it’s relaxing, emotional, and fun! When I sing, I feel relaxed. Sometimes, when there’s my favorite songs, I sing along and I feel relaxed when i’m stressed out. I sing songs with emotion so my songs can sound better. When I sing with emotion, my voice sounds good and the song will sound better. I’m singing just for fun. I sing for fun because I love singing funny or real songs with my friends, relatives, and my little sister. Singing is my favorite activity to do because it’s relaxing, emotional, and fun!
Julia, wow! Strong start. I would work on not being repetitive. There has to be another word for better, relaxing, emotional. – Mr. A
Reading is my favorite activity because I just love to read, sometimes it teaches me something, and there is always peace and quiet. I mostly love the books I am interested in. One genra I like is comidy. Sometimes books can teach me some things. Two things books can teach me are words, not all the time, lessons. When it is peace and quiet, I read. Also, I read at night. I like to read beacause I really love it,
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I really enjoy soccer because we can have fun with are friend.We can exercise by playing soccer.We can lose some weight while playing soccer.You can win or lose it all about having fun.You can have fun you don INCOMPLETE
I love basketball because the exercise,my team,and my family. The exercise is very important. So in that case you stay strong,and very well so your game is on top. Another,reason i like the game is because of my team. I carried my team to a 10 win season with one defeat the entire time,and we won 1st place. Most important, is my family. They helped me with my ball handling and other skills,that led me to first place. Incomplete
My favorite activity is video gaming because it is fun,I hold allot of highscores,and am going to start a gaming Chanel. Videogaming is a fun
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My favorite sport is wall ball because it keeps me active in school. First, Wall ball gives me good because it makes my fist stronger and makes me run faster.
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I really enjoy camping because i get to swim,ride my bike, and get to spend time with my family. I like to go and swim. Swimming can be very refreshing when you go camping. It is also very fun to get wet. When we go camping we INCOMPLETE
I really enjoy camping because I like to be outdoors,fish,and tube. Sometimes I see bugs but they don’t bother me
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I enjoy dancing because I get to be creative,active,and I could show more talents.Dancing allows me to be creative.
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Every summer my mom’s friend’s family and our family love to go to folsom lake because we get to swim, ride the jet ski, and have a potluck.We do it if it is someone’s birthday or if it i
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i really like basketball because my team always win,it makes me happy and better at basketball.it is fun because i make swishes and shoot far i throw far only if my team is a tie i always win because i’m a good shooter. my dad helps me get good at basketball.my team always win because i’am a good shooter and i know how to make swishes.everybody says that i’am good and fast i kind of make swishes and i shoot far.my team always win because i’am a good shooter.
brandon, make sure your name is capitalized – “Brandon”. I like your topic sentence but part of it doesn’t make sense. Always capitalize your “i”s – “I” and the beginning of each sentence. You need spaces between sentences also. I look forward to the finished product!
I like bowling because it is fun and it I am good at it and I like my family to go with me.It is fun once you try.Last time I
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It gets a little bit rocky , dusty ,and muddy on the road but I can live with that with a new bike .INCOMPLETE
Reading is my favorite activity because I just love to read, sometimes it teaches me something, and there is always peace and quiet. I mostly love the books I am interested in. One genra I like is comidy. Sometimes books can teach me some things. Two things books can teach me are words, not all the time, lessons. When it is peace and quiet, I read. Also, I read at night. I like to read because I really love it, I can learn new things, and when I read it is always quiet.
I really like singing because it’s relaxing, emotional, and fun! When I sing, I feel relaxed. Sometimes, when there’s my favorite songs, I sing along and I feel calm when i’m stressed out. I sing songs with emotion so my songs can sound good. When I sing with expression, my voice sounds good and the song will sound great! I’m singing just for fun. I sing for fun because I love singing funny or real songs with my friends, relatives, and my little sister. Singing is my favorite activity to do because it’s relaxing, emotional, and fun!
I love basketball because the exercise,my team,and my family. The exercise is very important. So in that case you stay strong,and very well so your game is on top. Another,reason i like the game is because of my team. I carried my team to a 10 win season with one defeat the entire time,and we won 1st place. Most important, is my family. They helped me with my ball handling and other skills,that led me to first place. This is the time i get to play the game me,my family,and my teammates love.
My favorite activity is video gaming because it is fun,I hold allot of high scores,and am going to start a gaming Chanel. Video gaming is a fun activity. One of the reasons I like video gaming is that I git to play with friends online and offline. I also hold allot of high scores. I hold high scores in five different games and hold twelve in all. I want to start a gaming Chanel. My youtube Chanel will be about and called gaming tips and tricks. As you can see video gaming is my favorite sport or activity.
I really enjoy soccer because we can have fun with are friend.We can exercise by playing soccer.We can lose some weight while playing soccer.You can win or lose it all about having fun.You can have fun you don`t have to win or lose and it all about having fun.I spend time with my friend and I have a good time.We can spend time with or friend while playing soccer.Soccer is my favorite to do because I can bond with friend.
What I like about soccer is that we have exercise,have game’s,and we can hang with our friends.The first thing we do is that we exercise and run laps.We exercise and run.When we done that we start to sweat and we have to dribble the ball and start to do hard tricks and sweat more.Another thing we do when we are done with exercising we will have games.My coach splits our team in half.He will make one team to wear a blue t-shirt.Then he will have the game.When i make a goal it feels good to make my team win.When we are all done we can hang with friends.We can hang out with friends and we can teach tricks to each other into our parents are here to pick us up.Soccer is my favorite sport to do because I get exercise and drink water and be able to get fresh air as well.
MY favorite sport or activity is baseball because you get alot of exersise and you can get stronger.FIRST you have fun by sliding,catching, throwing ,and doing a double play.NEXT make a homerun first you have to lower your kneese then hold the bat over your shoulder and you swing as hard as you can. finally hit the ball when you hit the ball the other players on the bases can make it home and you can to and get the winning point for your team.these are the things you can do in baseball and why you do it.
Jeremy, do not capitalize all the words in your entry. It will seem like you are shouting. Your topic sentence doesn’t contain three reasons and your evidence sentences talk about different things from your topic. Make sure to change these and we should see a better paragraph. – Mr. A
My favorite sport or activity is baseball because you can do alot of things. First you hit the the ball by lowering your knees and putting the bat over you shoulder .Next make a homerun you get the players on the bases get to make it home. You make a home run by hitting hard and being in the right postion. finally make a double play when you make a double play the other team has two outs. this is how you make a double play when you catch it you throw it to the player on the base and get them out and you throw it to another base.These are all the things you can do in baseball.INCOMPLETE
I enjoy play soccerball because you get a team and practice with your family.First you have a team.You can pas to other people in your team
Next you practice.You have to lern how stop the ball and block people
Finally most important to my family and get time together.You can stay
closer and geting fun.I love to play soccer with family or team and practice all time.
Jose, I can the beginnings of a good paragraph, but there are sentences that confuse me. Also, you have to leave spaces between your sentences. – Mr. A
I really enjoy soccer because we can have fun with are friend. We can exercise by playing soccer. We can lose some weight while playing soccer. You can win or lose it all about having fun. You can have fun you don`t have to win or lose it all about having fun. I spend time with my friend and I have a good time. We can spend time with or friend while playing soccer. Soccer is my favorite sport to do because I can bond with friend.
My favorite activity is roller skating because you can glide and listen to music last family and friends are there. I enjoy gliding in roller skates. Gliding is fun because you can turn and the wind will blow at the rate you go. Music helps me keep moving.Roar is a great song to skate to also it leaves me in the beat. Friends and family love to skate. When I’m skating with friends I know I’m not by myself , with family then I know they care about me. Roller skating is the best activity and you can twirl, listen to music,last of all friends and family are here to cheer!:)
What I like about soccer is that we have exercise, have game’s, and we can hang with our friends. The first thing we do is that we exercise and run laps. We exercise and run. When we done that we start to sweat and we have to dribble the ball and start to do hard tricks and sweat more. Another thing we do when we are done with exercising we will have games. My coach splits our team in half. He will make one team to wear a blue t-shirt. Then he will have the game. When i make a goal it feels good to make my team win. When we are all done we can hang with friends. We can hang out with friends and we can teach tricks to each other into our parents are here to pick us up. Soccer is my favorite sport to do because I get exercise and drink water and be able to get fresh air as well.
I really like basketball because my team always win,it makes me better at basketball. it is fun because I make swishes and shoot far. I throw very far if my team is a tie. I always win because I am a good shooter. my dad helps me get good at basketball. my team always win because I am good at basketball I throw farther than some fifth graders. my team wins all the times because I am a good shooter. i know how to make swishes. everybody says that I am good and fast.I always make swishes and i shoot far my team always win because I am good I am a good shooter.
I really enjoy dancing because i could be creative,and spend time with family and friends. When we dance we exercise. We stay healthy by moving and getting stronger. When i dance i want to be creative. I will be creative by making my own dance moves. When we dance we hang out with our family,and friends. We get closer to each other by dancing and having fun with each other. Moving and making my own dance is my favorite thing to do with all my loved ones.
Getting better Graciela! Make sure to indent and capitalize your “i”s. – Mr. A
Jose says:
August 11, 2014 at 10:43 am
I enjoy play soccer ball because you get a team and practice with your
family.First you have a team.You can pas to other people in your team
Next you practice.You have to learn how stop the ball and block people
Finally most important to my family and get time together.You can stay
closer and getting fun.I love to play soccer with family or team and
practice.
Fishing is my favorite activity because of all the things you can do. One reason why fishing is my favorite activity is because of all the fish and areas there are. The Sacramento river is a common area people prefer going fishing at. There are many type of fish such as stripers,sturgouns,catfish,bass,trouts,salmon,and many others. Many only go to fresh water places because the ocean can be very hard to fish due the distance where all sort of things bite. Another thing about fishing is the steps you must do before any thing else. The first step is to tie a hook and a weight on your line. Then you apply a certain bait to get the fish your shooting for. Next, you cast your bait in the water but make sure its in the middle. After that watch if your pole is vibrating or shaking up or down. Lastly, you pull your pole and real it in slowly. The final reason why i enjoy fishing is that i can relax. You can relax during fishing because it might take a while so you could just sit back and feel the breeze of the air. Among these facts fishing is my favorite activity.
Fishing is my favorite activity because of all the things about it. One reason why fishing is my favorite activity is because of all the fish and areas there are. The Sacramento river is a common area people prefer going fishing at. There are many type of fish such as stripers,sturgouns,catfish,bass,trouts,salmon,and many others. Many only go to fresh water places because the ocean can be very hard to fish due the distance where all sort of things bite. Another thing about fishing is the steps you must do before any thing else. The first step is to tie a hook and a weight on your line. Then you apply a certain bait to get the fish your shooting for. Next, you cast your bait in the water but make sure its in the middle. After that watch if your pole is vibrating or shaking up and down. Lastly, you pull your pole and real it in slowly. The final reason why i enjoy fishing is that i can relax. You can relax during fishing because it might take a while so you could just sit back and feel the breeze of the air. INCOMPLETE
I enjoy dancing because I get to be creative,active,and I could show different talents. I like dancing because it allows me to be creative. When I dance I could be creative by creating my own dance moves. Dancing also lets me be active. Dancing lets me be active because it motivates my whole body. I love dancing because it lets me show other talents know. When I dance I sometimes do gymnastics in my routine because that is a talent I know. Dancing is my favorite to do because i get to be creative,stay active,and show other talents.
My favorite sport is wall ball because it keeps me active in school. First, Wall ball gives me good exercise because it makes my fist stronger and makes me run faster. It gets my fist stronger when I punch the ball when its going to bounce two times, and makes me run fast when I run for the ball when its gonna go out of the court. Its also good exercise because
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What I like about soccer is that we have exercise, have game’s, and we can hang with our friends. The first thing we do is that we exercise and run laps. We exercise and run. When we are done that we start to sweat and we have to dribble the ball and start to do hard tricks and sweat more. Another thing we do when we are done with exercising we will have games. My coach splits our team in half. He will make one team to wear a blue t-shirt. Then he will have the game. When i make a goal it feels good to make my team win. When we are all done we can hang with friends. We can hang out with friends and we can teach tricks to each other into our parents are here to pick us up. Soccer is my favorite sport to do because I get exercise and drink water and get enough fresh air
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I really enjoy camping because i get to swim, ride my bike, and i get to spend time with my family. First, one reason why i like going camping is that we get to swim in the lake. Swimming for me is very fun and also we can play lots and lots of games. Next, when we go camping we take our bikes to ride on them. The reason we take our bikes is so we can explore new things like animals. Lastly, when we go camping something we enjoy is all of us being together. We like being close because we just like doing things together all the time. Camping is my favorite activity because we get to swim, ride our bicycles, and we get to be with our relatives and family members.
I really enjoy camping because I like to be outdoors,fish,and tube. Sometimes I see bugs but they don’t bother me because I’ve been camping about 40 times in my life. I like to be outdoors because I like to get exercise and play with my cousins. I also like fishing when I’m camping because I’ve never got to catch a catfish. I really want to catch one because it will be fun and interesting for my first time I also like to put the bate on the hook. I really like tubing because it’s fun. I like tubing because I get to spend time with my family and get to be in the water. I love camping because I get to spend with my family and be myself.
I like bowling because it’s fun,I am good not great, and my family likes it. It’s fun because
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I really enjoy camping because I like to be outdoors,fish,and tube. Sometimes I see bugs but they don’t bother me because I’ve been camping about 40 times in my life. I like to be outdoors because I like to get exercise and play with my cousins. I also like fishing when I’m camping because I’ve never got to catch a catfish. I really want to catch one because it will be fun and interesting for my first time I also like to put the bate on the hook. I really like tubing because it’s fun. I like tubing because I get to spend time with my family and get to be in the water. I love camping because I get to spend time with my family and be myself.
My favorit show is girl meets world becouse I like to see the fun adventures. They sometimes funny or serias. I have been watching the seris cince it first came out. I lerne things from this show. Watching this show makes me happy. Riely is goffy mya is popoulare and funny .
Girl meets world is baste of boy meets world. The Mom and Dad are from boy meets world.
Demarian, good start. The spelling is distracting. Please rewrite: serias, seris, cince, lerne, goffy, popoulare, and baste.
My favorit show is girl meets world becouse I like to see the fun adventures. They sometimes funny or serias. I have been watching the seris cince it first came out. I lerne things from this show. Watching this show makes me happy. Riely is goffy mya is popoulare and funny .
Girl meets world is baste of boy meets world. The Mom and Dad are from boy meets world. INCOMPLETE
I enjoy watching Bruce Lee because I learn how to fight and it is cool watching it. I can learn how to fight. So I can defend myself when somebody hit me. I enjoy the fight I am watching. So I can learn from the movie. It is cool doing kung-fu. It is cool that you can do kung-fu to fight. That why I enjoy watching Bruce Lee because he fought bravely in battle and I want n kung-fu! incomplete
Dogs are better than cat because they can protect you. First dog can protect you. They can protect you from harm. Another dog can bite intruder. Dog will bite somebody if someone hit it owner. Finally dog can guard you. Dog guard your house and you. They can protect you by attacking someone who attack you.
Dogs are easier to train then cats. You can train them to play fetch. To train a dog to play fetch make me feel happy. You can train your dog to listen. In order to train a dog to listen, hold a treat in your hand. You can train your dog to do alot of things.
I love basketball because the exercise,my team,and my family. The exercise is very important. So in that case you stay strong,and very well so your game is on top. Another,reason i like the game is because of my team. I carried my team to a 10 win season with one defeat the entire time,and we won 1st place. Most important, is my family. They helped me with my ball handling and other skills,that led me to first place. This is the time i get to play the game me,my family,and my teammates love.