eettalfonso

32 Comments

  1. Hard Life

    Why does it have to hurt so bad? Everytime people get done using me, they leave me on the couch and I sink in between the pillow cushins. Darkness filled my body. There was no way to get out. Sometimes people even sit on me. It is horrible because they pass gas and it stinks. It burns my eyes.

    Also when they use me they push my buttons. It doesn’t feel good. And the worst part about it is they shake me because my batteries are low and its not my fault that my batteries are low.Its their fault for not putting new batteries in me.

    They also press my buttons so hard that it feels like someones choking me. It is unbelievable. They don’t even care how I feel. But the good thing that comes out of it is that I fit in their hands the greatest way, and it makes me forget about how much it hurts when they push my buttons. “Who could fit in a person’s hand like I do?”

    The most horrible thing that could possibly happen is a baby licking you. Everytime baby’s get their hands on a remote they put you in their mouth. They put so much slobber on you that it feels like you just got sprayed by a water hose! “Why don’t people think of remotes for a change?” Putting me in horrifying positoins all the time, they don’t even know I’m alive. And thats how my life is as a remote.

  2. My Remote Nightmare
    “Where is that remote?” dad asked. I was under the couch. The baby looked under the couch and grabbed me. Bang! Bang! Bang! The baby hit me on the ground, the couch and she even put me in her mouth. Wet! When the tv turned on I looked over and dad finally found me.

    When dad fell asleep, he was squeezing me by laying on me. His daughter grabbed me and when she pressed a button I laughed quietly. She turned on the tv and went to bed. In the morning, everybody left but not me. I was home for hours and then everybody came back.

    Bang! Some body had smashed a window. It was a robber! Help me! But nobody had heard me. I heard loud screams, people running and something was touching me. Somebody got me and hit the robber with me. The neighbors herd screaming and called the cops. He didn’t have enough time to run.

    We had to clean everything up. Mom had to call somebody to fix the window. We had to get a new vase, a lamp, and get an alarm for the house. We had to stay up all night to clean. This is the life of a remote.

    • I really liked the title,it was great. I liked the onomatopoiea’s in it. It was really great. I would love to see more stories of yours.

  3. Click!
    Its me Bob the remote control for this crazy family. It was a bright and sunny sunday. Here I was laying on the the top shelf getting some rest.When I woke up I found my self under the couch in the liveing room.

    It was as dark and spooky as a cave. I could see the rotting of pizza from yesterdays dinner. I thought I would be under here for ever. All of a sudden the ground started to shake.

    At my amazement it was Charle the baby. She was big as a skyscrapper.(Well I am 20 inches small.) Every time she gets her hands on me she puts me in her mouth. I tried to stay as far away as possible. It was about 40 minutes until the baby left the room.

    I hope next time its someone with comman sense. Then to my rescue was Mr.Joe. I really like to have his company. We always watch t.v. together. He looked for me on the top shelf. He finally found me under the couch. Whith all his strainth he lifted the couch and grpped me and turne to Majour Leage Baseball(MLB). At least something good came out of this. My favorite team the yankes won.

  4. Remote.
    Being a remote is as tiring as being a teacher working non-stop for a whole day. It doesn’t feel comfortable. I am a remote, so I can’t walk, people move me wherever they like. That’s ok, but imagine that you were being sucked on by a baby.

    Watching TV one day, I was suddenly pushed into a tunnel of darkness. I might have slid somewhere in the sofa cushions. It was dark, scary, and I was squished. Waiting for something to happend, but nothing did. Somehow, my body was itching everywhere! It’s probably because of the fur on the sofa, but about 2 hours later it stopped.

    Surprisingly, I saw light coming through the holes between the cushions. A cold hand wrapped around my body and pulled me up. They found me! I was so happy! It was that one day that I remembered the rest of my remote life.

    A month later, a little boy was messing around with my buttons. Suddenly, he started to take out my batteries! I was lost in a deep sleep. I hope I’ll be revived soon. About half an hour later, I was awoken. By that time, I felt that a remote’s life is too adventerous, I wanted to be a human.

  5. Diary of a Wimpy Remote
    Being a T.V. Remote is hard. Try getting put in a baby’s mouth! Or having someone toot on you!

    Then the boys soccer team comes back from winning their game. Their sweaty, gross hands touch me! One even sat on me!

    Next alergy season is MURDER! They sneeze and cough on me. There are tissues every where.

    Even scarier and grosser Mom used me to squish a spider! It was stuck on my buttons, and a leg on the power button. She didn’t even wipe it off! The spider was very squishy and warm.

    Meanwhile I was stuck in the couch cusions. For one whole day! It’s scary down there! There Cheetos down there! Finally they checked there, when he picked me up I smiled in felif.

    Finally, the pets are just careless where they go poty and what they go on! They also lick me and step on me. One day they family had a meeting, they said, “We need to treat the remote with respect”.” Yes!”, I said” Finally some respect!”

    They said to wash their hands before using me, don’t squish bugs with me, or let the dog use me as a toilet. Now it’s like HEAVEN!

  6. Hello,im a T.V remote I was born in a factory and they sent me to a store with other T.V remotes so I made friends and I lived a week in a box until a family bought me , they have a dog , and a babie , and Im scared of dogs and babies I was new for that family

    I change channels of the T.V , my friend ,his my best friend .
    When the family press my buttons , it tickles me ,when I get lost , its its to difficult for the family to find me.

    Im glad that this family bought me, I was build for this ,I dont care if the dog and the babies chew me I love my life and I was built for that.

    This is my life , I work only for the T.V ,If a human pushes my butons ,so thats my life

    • Jenisha,

      I have the remote control for my T.V. on my lap right now, and I’m reading it your story, hoping that just knowing another remote is also experiencing being chewed on by a dog will cheer it up.

      Gio, the newest addition to our family, is a gigantic 14-month old Doberman, who’s already been caught several times chewing away on my poor, defenseless remote.

      As horrifying as it must be having those gigantic jaws start to demolish it, just by listening to your remote’s story, I think mine realizes it could be worse: it could also have a baby teething on it. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, I think I see a slight little grin starting to spread across its surface.

      Well, you know what they say: “Misery loves company.”

  7. that was a good move he try to leand to the cst and he frotget to stunde for the test it is the best move the is good.

  8. Buttons,
    In one day i’ve gone from a remote for a little t.v. to a wireless t.v. remote!! I knew instantly my life would be epic. BOOM!BOOM!BOOM! I heard a huge noise coming from the left hall. In less than a minute…..a big fat man grabbed me and scrtched his back with me! Luckily he slipped on the dogs water and I slipped under the couch.

    Moving the couch the man was just about to get me when SWOOOOOSH!!! the dog came and grabbed me as fast as a lightning bolt!!In his dog house he kept chewing by buttons until they popped out! Then I saw a shadow it looked as i ti had long hair,an apron and a pot. Who could it be I thought to myself? That smell was like a field of roses.

    She grabbed me and I saw it was the mom. I can feel her palms so very nice and warm. She left me on the kitchen table. She wasn’t really paying any attention of what she was doing. She must have thought I was an eggplant because she grabbed me instead.

    She turned arouned and saw the eggplant sitting right there and saw that I wasn’t there!! She quickly took me out and yelled “Oh no we can’t afford another t.v. remote!!!”Just as soon as she took me out I had already had my body filled with bubbles and my buttons were half melted. It was pure TERROR!!!!! The older brother had already bought a jumbo remote!!! He said that it was better because #1 it wouldn’t be hard to find it under th couch#2 it would be hard for the dog to grab it #3 you just can’t confuse It for an eggplant you just can’t I was thrown in th trash.

  9. Hello,Im a T.V remote I was born in a factory and they sent me to a store with other T.V remotees so I made friends and I lived a week in a box until a family bought me , they had a dog and a baby ,and Im afraid of dogs and babies
    I was new for that family .

    I change channels of the T.V my friend his my best friend his my best friend , when the family press my buttons it tickles
    me , when I get lost , its to difficult for the family to find me.

    Im glad that this family bought me , I was build for this ,I dont care if the dog and the babies chew me I love my life
    and I was built for that .

    This is my life , I work only for the T.V , if a human pushes my buttons , so thats my life

  10. My Bad Luck As A Remote Control
    It was the worst thing in my life being in a beautiful houses as a remote control. It was the worst thing because in that house where I was, lived a baby girl with the family that I was with. That baby girl was like about two years old, and her name was Melissa. Well Melissa for some reason didn’t like me, because instead of being nice to me she was meaner than a crocodile.

    I always felt grossed out whenever Melissa grabbed me with her dirty hands fool of soup. And then when Melissa put me inside her mouth I didn’t like it because she bited me, she left me all itchy. “Eww” I said, thats really messed up, because I couldn’t even scratch myself.

    Sometimes Melissa was as evil as a bull, because she threw me inside the toilet. I hated because she didn’t flushed it whenever she went to the bathroom. I wasn’t alone there sometimes. One ofthe thing that got me scared was when put me under her bed on purpose. I was scared because it was dark.

    Fanilly, I got an idea of making Melissa like me as a remote control. I decided to turn on every channel she liked. A week later Melisssa didn’t even let her parents used me for a minute. All she did was just huged me and kissed me. that also grossed me out.

  11. What am I? I am a remote control.
    I put out an infared beam of light invisible to the naked eye,the beam connects to the sattelite then to the reciver that tells the T.V what to do. On the down side there are three catagories of bad there are bad,worse,and of course horrible. Bad is when I am stuck in the couch. Worse is when I get farted on. Horrible is when the baby puts me in her slimy grotess mouth her name is SUZIE!!!!!!!!

    Every night I have nightmares that there are 1,000,000 of her. She is the most rechid thing in the world. She needs to grow up. I want to be treated with respect. I want to be left alone.

  12. Vivian,

    You’re commenting on the wrong blog post. I think you wanted to leave your praise on “The Secret to the CST.” Unless, of course, you’re writing as one remote control to another.

  13. My Remote Control Story
    Cushions.
    I’m a remote control. I always get stuck between cushions. Sometimes I’m not so lucky, the couch gets stinky. The worst part is when they fart or change the baby. The part I think when it gets better,it doesn’t.The boy is always farting. It just stinks too much. Being in the couch is not such a happy place for me!

    Where am I? I can’t see, its too dark and it’s so hot. It’s like I’m in a heater. Its getting hotter and hotter. Sweating, I hear a person talk. There trying to find me.”Hooorayyy.” Happily,I kept on trying to yell and tell them that I’m over here in someplace hot. They wouldn’t hear me. Sadily,I waited for someone to come and find me.

    “Owwww, that dog just bit me,”I thought to myself. It hurts so badly! How will that dog ever stop biting me? “Oh no,Is that a bathtub?” It stinks like a rotten egg or a dead bird. Is that the toilet,don’t put me in it, don’tput me in it. Arf,arf, arf. Don’t leave me here,I’m just a remote. Wait, did I just hear that dog say the job was done? Please,somebody help me!

    “Its passed a hour,” I told myself. Nobody has found me yet! In the toilet, I had tasted the toilet water! Bleehhhh,Its nasty! Just when I thought nobody was going to find me, hello,I had heard the daughter talking on he phone.Yay, I’m saved from the toilet! The daughter had found me when she was coming to clean the bathtub.First,she gave me a wash.Then, put me back in the living room. I felt better there.

  14. Yesturday, I was in a teny tiny store.It was always cold but then someone picked me up and bought me! The warm hand felt funny but I got used to it. It’s been three hours since we got to his shelf or “home” as they call it and I’m already lost.There is a huge rock like thing and the cushin. I think the thing is a large grandpa,because when it makes a noise it stinks even more.Yes he found me! Oh no,don’t give me to the little person. HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPP.Earlier, a tall guy was trying to change the time but now he is turning the t.v. on and off.

  15. Why My Life is a Nightmare.

    I am the new TV remote. I love my new family. They treat me like a pampered chihuahua. But here’s the thing,they really have a pampered chihuahua. And here ‘s the story of how one day the chihuahua went too far.

    So there I was,just lying on the crystal-clear table. With the maid polishing my buttons. But then the chihuahua came and scratched out my buttons. Her name is Fifi. I think she is the meanest dog who ever walked the Earth.

    The next day was just the same. Fifi scratches out my buttons, the lady watches her favorite channel “Models,Beauty,Fashion”,the maid puts me in my badazzled case or what I like to call my “sleeping box”, Fifi tries once again to pee on me and does it. I have a hard life. And the worst part about it is that even my friends like the radio, the DSi’s, the cellphones, and all the other electronics are always laughing at me. Of course it was because Fifi had me in her mouth again,drooling on me,barking wildly,”woof,woof” she would say,and jumping crazily.

    Today is the best day ever. I might get sold at a yard sale. But the dog just dug me up in the dirt so I couldn’t be sold. But lucky for me I was able to push some buttons and spell:PLEASE HELP ME IM IN THE DIRT YOUR DOG DUG ME UP SINCERELY REMOTE on the TV. Then and there the maid found out I was a magic remote who could talk. So she dug me up, payed a lady to buy me, and took me home.

    The next day I awoke to the smell of black coffee. Yuck! And I was sitting at a couch that smelled as bad as year old diapers. And then this seven year old girl came and said “Hannah Montana” and since I thought she was sweet, I fast forwarded to Hannah Montana. I think the rest of the year she was my favorite. I liked being a remote. Except for one part of my past life.

  16. Remote.

    “Why dose people have no repect for a remote?”,I had asked myself.As I was bought from a store, a person named Case had bought me. At the house there were a baby and a huge dog . That dog was soo huge I can barely see his head. Just then a person, Case was haveing a party on Saturday. It was almost time for the party. One afternoon, as woke up early.Case had grabbed me with those greasy hands an thoes hugemous crums falling off. I didn’t no why he’s not getting the part started,but he need to wash his hand.

    A few mins. later he had went to the store to buy some food. But just then the dog had came and licked me all over and over and over again. I don’t know why ,but dog are nasty.

    Hours went by, Case had came back with !0 bottles of soda,17 packs of chips.Suddenly, I heard a loud Crowd coming from the outside of the door. It was Case’s friends and his family. Case was so busy he had forgot to watch the baby. There were 18 baby crawling to me. It felt like a nightmare. I never knew baby’s like remote.

    Just then, the baby put their mouth on it. Their it was grose. But soon as they had left. Case had wapped all that baby stuff and those grose thing they had touch me. Then Case had turn me on and had said your the best.

  17. How does it feel to be a T.V. remote? Well, it’s horrible! Like the time I got lost under the couch coushin. One moring I woke up and saw that I was under the couch coushin. “How did I get down here?” I asked. I saw a stikey sock and it smelled like sweat. There was lost change. There was also a hairbrush I don’t know why there’s a hairbrush,but there is. There was something stranger than that hairbrush. It was a rotten corndog! It had hair all over it and it smelled like rotten eggs.

    It’s squished under it feels like someone sitting on me.

    INCOMPETE!

  18. If I was a remote control it would feel gross to have a baby sucking me. It would be so gross if someone sits on me and it will smell gross inside a dogs mouth.

    It doesn’t feel good when u r in between cushins. It woud be gross if someone farts on u .

    It feels wierd to have a bunch of buttons on me. It smells gross on the couch.

    INCOMPLETE

  19. I am excited that you won.It was fun that you made the movie it was the best movie that I watched.

  20. What am I? I am a remote control.
    I put out an infared beam of light invisible to the naked eye,the beam connects to the sattelite then to the reciver that tells the T.V what to do. On the down side there are three catagories of bad there are bad,worse,and of course horrible. Bad is when I am stuck in the couch. Worse is when I get farted on. Horrible is when the baby puts me in her slimy grotess mouth her name is SUZIE!!!!!!!!

    Every night I have nightmares that there are 1,000,000 of her. She is the most rechid thing in the world. She needs to grow up. I want to be treated with respect. I want to be left alone.

    I wanted to get stolen. Turns out you do have be careful what you wish for. One day I got stolen.

    The people just stole me. They got me to the hide out In Sanfrancisco, CA. It took a year then they took my batteries out permanetly I was never seen again.

  21. I’m a remote. It’s always my job to on and off the tv. They always relie on me. They always pick me to do the job right. BUt,is my job fun?

    Ohhh! my job is terrible. I keep getting lost in the couch
    BUT, it is comfortable down there. Baby’s and dogs keep druling whenever there is a celebration or a party. BUT, I
    did need a bath. People keep sitting on me. BUT, It was a
    little chilly.

    And I’m always lonly at night when the radio turns off into
    sleep mode. And the clock is so anioying going tic-toc tic-toc
    tic-toc tic-toc I CAN ERVER FALL ASLEEP. BUt I do and one
    time I dreamed that my name was bob. Yes I have a
    incredible imaganation. I just wish it wasn’t strange like
    THIS FAMILY.

    That’s another thing. In this family no ones mad,sad ,or
    hungery. They just smile all creepy like. If there was a
    contest about the creepyest family they would win. BUT,
    the baby scares me the most.

  22. Click!
    There I go somebody must withall my bunds. I tell you this little baby is likking me all over the place that nice to me very. She had pippe all overthe place that nice but she just a little baby.
    When the baby went to go get in the bath she had me in her hand. And she throw me the towl nice.So when she got out the clean me off but she still had me if I can talk,I would tell that baby to live me alone and stop putting me in stuff. Then she would start crying like a big baby. Then I would go back to sleep.
    When the baby feel sleep I get a good night sleep but when she get up she start crying becuse she won’t something in her mouth. Are she just won’t to watch telvision.INCOMPLET

  23. The Loss of a Remote
    Yesturday, I was in a teny tiny store.It was always cold. But then someone picked me up and bought me! The warm hand felt funny but I got used to it.

    It’s been three hours since we got to his shelf or “home” as they call it and I’m already lost.There is a huge rock like thing and the cushin. I think the thing is a large grandpa,because when it makes a noise it stinks even more.Yes he found me!

    Oh no,don’t give me to the little person. Why is he picking me up?HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPP. Get me out of his mouth!

    Earlier, a tall guy was trying to change the time but now he is turning the t.v. on and off.
    Maybe I’ll press the button. Click. “Oh, thats the button,” said the dad.

    Heyyy,are you that cute little dog everyone talks about?Chomp,through. Stop chewing on me. Look, Finally the adults see me. Grab.

    I’ve not been feeling very well. But everybody says I am doing fine. They keep smacking me to make me work. OWCH, I want to say something very quickly,tell my family I love them. And… good… Byyyyyyyyye…….

  24. Click!
    There I go somebody messing with all my buttons. I tell you this little baby is licking me all over the place that nice to me very. But the very nasty part is when she pooped all over the place that nice but she just a little baby.

    When the baby went to go get in the bath she had me in her hand. And she throw me the towel, nasty.So when she got me out of the towel and then she had clean me off but she still had me if I can talk,I would tell that baby to live me alone and stop putting me in stuff. Then she would start crying like a big baby.

    When she go to sleep I be very happy. But she still got me in her hand. She just can not let me go if she let me she well start crying like a big baby well she is a baby.and when her mom try to get the remote control and she get it she walk out she start crying agin.And her mom go back in there she stop crying and go back to sleep.

    The baby took me with her with her mom and the to some where . But they end seeing this magica wonmen and she won’t see the remote control. She do some magica on the remote cortrol.So I end up comeing back to life.I had two legs,one hand two hands. Some I came ot the same way so I am not a remote no more.I am very happy I can get away from this baby.

  25. Torture
    I’m at home just waiting to be used. The family is gone and I’m home alone At home, I never knew it would be this quiet around here. It’s usually noisy and things always constantly brake. But, this time things will last for more than an hour.

    Later that day, ding dong! ding dong! ding dong! wow the kids are always ringing the door bell like crazy even though they know that nobody is home. AHHH! there are robbers in front of the house. BOOM! man I thought the door can hold them off, but they just broke in like police officers breaking in houses.

    That evening, good thing they put me in thier best hiding spot. In a holder behind the sofa near the window.
    “Check every where!” the men said madly
    Whoah…he seems mad. This is starting to be a huge problem, the family better come quick and fast.

    The next day, the family finally came home around 5 o’clock and saw what a mess the robbers did to the house. The family ranto the phone and called the cops. Later that day, the family went to the cops and told the whole story to the cops. Then, the robbers came back and took the tv and me. They also left a note:

    Dear Coopers,
    If you ever call the cops again and tell them the whole story
    you will regret that you called them. And, we will trash the
    whole house, come to your chidren’s school and
    kiddnapp them so if I were you I would do as I say.
    -The Unknown

    I was in deep trouble .

  26. “Screw,screw,screw.” The factory worker opened up my back and put in my first battery. “Don’t forget to turn it off”, said the worker’s boss. That was the last time I saw the factory. When I awoke, an elderly man was holding me and asking a worker if I could work for T.V. and for DVD. “I’ll take it any way”, he said. Once we got home, he turned on the television with me, and then sat on me!!! Hours later, he awoke, asked where he was, and went to sleep.

    The next morning I awoke to the sound of children yelling,” where is the remote?” I shouted, but my voice was muffled, AND, no one can here remotes talk to them anyway. They found me eventually, only it was the baby who found me. Her mouth open wide, I could see my life flashing before my imaginary eyes! My saviour was the mother of this beast.

    It has now been a month since I have arrived, and I have found out that the elderly man’s name is “Grandpa”. I have reached a problem though, when anyone pushes my buttons, it takes me five seconds for me to react! Grandpa curses when this happens, but Mother scolds him and says,” There are children in this house!!!”

    Quietly, on Saturday morning, the boy grabbed me and turned on the television. The very moment this happened, a surge of pain raged through my body. The last thing I saw was the sly face of that sneeky boy.

    I awoke the next morning, yawned, and looked around. “WAIT”, I said in my mind,” How am I alive??!!” I smiled an evil smile with my imaginary mouth.

    • Is this story better than the other two? I think it is, but it is not my opinion.

Leave a Reply to Gabriella Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *